5 Habits That Build Unshakable Self-Confidence 💪

“I used to believe confidence was something you were either born with - or not.” Self-Doubt was controlling my life in every aspect.

But it's not true. I’ve spent 30+ years learning, living, and now coaching people out of self-doubt. And here’s what I’ve learned: Confidence is built. Like a muscle. And there are very specific habits that build it. The problem isn't that we are not confident, the problem is we have a stronger muscle of self-doubt and a weaker muscle of confidence.

So if you’ve ever felt unsure of yourself, like you're not good enough or that people are quietly judging you, or that you are the cause of problems in your relationship... this is for you.

Let’s break the cycle.

1. Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Love ❤️

Most people don’t realize that the voice in their head is the most important conversation they’ll have all day. If that voice is filled with judgment and criticism—guess what emotion you're building? That voice in your head has evolved to protect you, so it looks for what's wrong in life and says things that might be there to protect you, but end up limiting you instead. What does your voice inside say to you?

Doubt? Shame? Fear?

But if you start the habit of speaking to yourself like you would to your best friend - with compassion, belief, encouragement - you start rewiring your brain for confidence. Doing this will drive your focus to look for things in your life you are actually happy with and proud of. We all have them but the voice of doubt tells us that we don't. Rather than telling yourself that you are useless, no good, not worthy, like I used to do, tell yourself that you are learning something truly valuable every day.

2. Keep Small Promises to Yourself 🙏

We have such high standards for ourselves. When others struggle and attempt things we have empathy for them but rarely do we have allowances for our own learning process. We expect thinks to be perfect the very first time we try something. But confidence doesn’t come from doing everything perfectly. Confidence literally comes from proving to yourself that you can trust YOU even when mistakes happen. Trust that you won't give up. Trust that you have got this and no matter how many times you have to try, you will.

Start with something small - Drink that glass of water. Go for a walk. Say no when you mean no. Every promise you keep tells your brain: “I’m someone who follows through.” "I am successful and life is an ongoing process of mistakes and learning until we get it right". Not giving up is the process of momentum. When we see ourselves making progress, we become happier that we are no longer stuck.

3. Write It Down—Then Say It Out Loud 👂

There’s something powerful about writing down your thoughts - and even more powerful about speaking your truth out loud. Confidence grows through self-awareness and voice. When we write things down, we see the words we have been thinking and have the opportunity to ask - Is this really how I want to think? What would be a more constructive, positive and powerful way to think?

What do you believe about yourself that’s holding you back? Write it. Question it. Speak something better out loud and say it like you mean it.

4. Do the Brave Thing First 👀

Whether it’s sending the message, speaking up in a meeting, talking to your partner or parents, or saying yes to something you’ve been avoiding—do the brave thing first. Every time you face discomfort, you expand your confidence. The biggest problem in the world is that people think they shouldn't have any problems. Yet here we are saying problems, discomfort, actually cause us to grow. To expand. To become more. And to grow our confidence muscle. What issue do you need to address or have conversations around that might be difficult? By doing the brave thing first, by being courageous, you build confidence. This is the fast track way to turn your fears into fuel, and use them to grow.

5. Surround Yourself with Growth-Minded People 🙋

The people around you either pull you into doubt—or lift you into belief. Join spaces where confidence is contagious. Where people speak of possibility, not limitation. Where people go through the struggle because they have their eye on the prize. Because the prize that is beating self-doubt and growing in confidence is there for us all to take.

This is why my clients get results. My life coaching isn’t about guidance or telling people what to do - it’s about finding within you the energy, knowledge, and resources that will bring this change about for you. We all become like the 5 people we spend most of our time with. You know some people who suffer from depression spend time online with groups who also suffer from depression. To me this seems counter-productive. If you want to learn to be happy, spend time with people who know how to be happy. People experiencing depression will only teach you how to be depressed.

What's the truth about this?

The truth is you’re not broken. You’ve just been taught to doubt and you have built that muscle up big and strong.

Let’s change that - together.

🎯 Ready to build real confidence, and a life and relationship you love?👉 Book your FREE Discovery Call Or Download the Free Book: “Self-Doubt to Happiness”

You’ve got nothing to lose, except the doubt that’s been holding you back.