A World Divided
Were you brexit or remain? Are you for devolution or against? Is it climate change causing all our problems or is it the government or big business? Which side will you choose next?
Have you noticed the enormous polarity and the huge conflict between people in our society today and how it seems to get worse? For some it can be frightening as tensions rise. For others it's a way to make their point, to get heard. To let people know that things must improve.
Whilst having my haircut yesterday the hairdresser was so strong in knowing what sides she was on. She must have only been 18 to 20 yet she knew, "it's all the governments fault" she shouted in my in ear! She didn't believe in any of "the climate rubbish". And we shouldn't be going to space, and people at the bottom of the financial chain have no way to succeed in this society. Little did she know that I started with a poor background.
How can anyone live peacefully in a society with so much polarity and unrest? Some of these issues are even dividing homes and relationships and long term friendships. How can we stay confident in ourselves in times like these? Because if we have a deep level of confidence, we are much less likely to worry about the other side. We will feel much more comfortable about the fact that others might have a different idea to us.
How can we be confident, stay together and even love each other dearly if we are at opposite ends of the spectrum?
Buddha said that "Hatred is never ended by hatred...". If that is true then hating the wrongdoers, hating those who so passionately disagree with us, hating those who could potentially harm, hating those who hate on us will do nothing to make it better.
"Arguing your point may make you right, but you will never win the other person over. In fact, by arguing you will completely loose them."
A misunderstanding or a difference in opinion is never ended by an argument but only by tact, diplomacy, reconciliation and a genuine desire to understand all points of view. Qith intelligence, we really do look to understand all sides. Not just reacting to a single thing we read or hear.
Buddha went on to say that the only way to counteract hatred is by love. But did he really mean to love those who are so different to us? Those who are completely different to us? Perhaps those who we blame for a lot of what is wrong? Yes he did. And as you grow into being more confident in yourself, you wont fear looking at and understanding other thoughts or points of view. You become more well rounded and have a greater understanding of the issues.
Sometimes we choose a side of an argument or issue because if makes us feel certain and strong. We fear that if the other side is just as valid as the side we are on, then there can be no resolution. For some that's a scary place so we avoid it and choose. But sometimes its ok to not have all the answers. It's ok, as long as we are confident to really look and see all sides.
The reason people are so passionate in their views is because they are fearful and they are crying out for things to be better. Just like all of us. The only difference is the method of communication. Deep down we all want the same things. A happier life. More fulfillment. To feel needed and respected. We all just go about it in different ways.
Building Self Confidence
If instead of being out of control in anger or sadness or intent on making people see things the way you do, what would happen if you simply sought to understand? In that case both sides win. Don't let ego or being right be more significant than our relationships with each other as human beings and we will live in a more peaceful place. We will have confidence in ourselves as we will understand more. We will have less polarity and greater common goals.
The only way we can possibly change anyone is by starting with ourselves. Building self confidence in ourselves helps us to grow in inner strength but also in knowledge and understanding.
If you need an immediate way to bring yourself down and feel good inside yourself, then you need to use gratitude for that. Here is a link to feel really good in yourself.
If you have doubts about yourself in life and it's getting in the way of a happy and fulfilled life, you might be interested in my free book on beating self doubt here Self Doubt Book.