Not Another Minute With Them!
"I can't stand the thought of spending an entire day with them, not even an hour or a minute!"
While Christmas is supposed to be a wonderful time of giving and spending time with family and friends, for some it's a time of stress, worry, and family disagreements.
Some use phrases such as "You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family!" and it's so incredibly sad as the family unit could be the place of security, a source of help, a place to give and receive, and laugh, and love.
Which is it for you? Are you sat at home dreading spending the day together, or are you so excited you cannot wait to see their faces and spend time with them?
Nobody knows your family as well as you do. Only you know how they will be towards you yet again. Will they tease you again about being single? Will they tell you how you should be living your life? Will they constantly talk about how amazing someone else is doing and forget about you? Only you know what it will be truly like. Only you know how it makes you feel and if you want to get out and run away.
If this is you, you absolutely can go there, be with them, and feel just like I've mentioned above. That's your perogative, your right. Nobody should tell you what to do or how to feel. Especially them. When they're not perfect themselves anyway.
If this sounds like you, you absolutely can go and feel like this, but I'd like to just open to you another choice. You see as long as you sit there, going over this in your mind, winding yourself up, building up your expectations for how it will go, then I guarantee it will be exactly like that. But I wonder... How would you really truly like it to be?
How would you like them to feel when you arrive? When they spend time with you, how would you like them to feel about themselves and about you? How would you like to see them being, honestly? What if the real truth, the unspoken truth is that they would like it to be this way too. What if their hurt, pain, not understanding, their ways of being have meant they have not, cannot, feel the way they would like?
TURN YOUR EXPECTATIONS INTO APPRECIATION then it's game over because everything changes.
What could you bring to the table to help them feel a connection or the love they so deeply desire but are afraid to change? What could you do to BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE?
How could you be different this year to change the situation from the expected pain, to one of appreciation, understanding, and connection?
All the best to you and have a wonderful Christmas everyone.
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