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4 Things to Avoid Your Self Doubt Driving You to a Miserable Life!

I posted a blog about how Cynicism, Criticism, Anger, and Disappointment can often be our tools to get through our day to day ๐Ÿ˜ฒ. By pointing our fingers at others, even jokingly, we get to feel a sense of superiority and certainty in ourselves. These feelings are addictive in a world that is driven by certainty and significance ๐Ÿ’ช. One guy actually responded telling me that without his criticism and anger toward others, his days would be dull and meaningless ๐Ÿ˜„.

The problem is, we avoid the bigger issues when always pointing the finger. Issues that if changed, could really make a difference to our lives for the better. It's the difference between Safe Problems and Quality Problems ๐Ÿง.

Criticizing others ultimately leads to nothing but emptiness. Criticism NEVER coaches someone to success. The temporary feelings of "I won one over you, I'm better, your rubbish" quickly disappear leaving absolutely nothing.

Sticking to this pattern with people close to us, or those we know will not bring about any change for them, or for us. Instead it will lead to more doubt and disappointment.

So what can really make a difference? Well making a difference to our doubt and disappointment building up is thankfully pretty easy ๐Ÿ’ช.

One thing that really does make a difference in life is how we decide to cope with self doubt, whatever form it takes. Going forward, this can mean the difference between a successful and happy life in the future, or an unfulfilling and unhappy one.

Here are 4 simple things we can do to avoid our self doubt, or doubt about life and people from driving us to a miserable life in the future.

4 Things to avoid your Doubt Driving you to a Miserable Life

ONE - Get back into Gratitude! โค๐Ÿ™๐Ÿซถ

There is one emotion that is more powerful than all others when it comes to feeling angry, sad, or full of doubt and that is being thankful. Think about it for a moment, what things have you been thankful for in life? ๐Ÿง I don't just mean someone did you a favour but something real that happened, or some one. What are you grateful for? Who are you grateful for? What are the details about why you are grateful? Now, when you think about it for a minute or two, how does it make you feel? ๐Ÿ˜„

When you are in this state of mind, how angry or sad do you feel? Where did that go? Can you feel thankful and angry or sad or doubt in yourself at the same time? I can answer that for you. No. Because you cannot feel these negative emotions when you are full of gratitude. They can't exist together in your nervous system. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

So make a habit of it. Write down a list of 5 or 10 things that you are really honestly thankful for and just give yourself a few minutes each day to remember them. To feel them. And give yourself emotional space from that anger, sadness, or doubt.

A 2% shift into gratitude each day will have an incredible impact on your life later on. It's like you get compound interest returned in the form of feeling good emotions about things. What's even better about this method is that it has ZERO side effects. It's completely natural to your system as it's you doing it. I can honestly say there is nothing to lose with gratitude. ๐Ÿ™

TWO - Move More! ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ™†โ€โ™‚๏ธ

Your body is it's own chemical factory and it is powered by movement. Not so much food, but movement. Think about it. How many runners do you know who after a run say they feel so angry, or sad, or feel doubt. Usually runners do what they do because after they catch their breath, they feel incredible. Don't worry we don't all have to become runners but we do need to move more. ๐Ÿ’ช

Changing your physiology changes your emotion. Or put a different way, emotion follows motion. We all know this as, for example, how does a sad person 'do' feeling sad? Where do they look, up or down? Are their shoulders upright or slouched? Where do their eyes focus? How do they breathe? We all know the answers to these because we use our bodies to do them. Change how you move, change how you live ๐Ÿ˜Ž. Become active and demand more from yourself. Set a new standard for yourself and own your emotions. Stand and move and live like you are owning your emotions. You will see just how quickly it makes a difference.

THREE - Focus.

You can't move differently but then still focus on everything in life as though it is wrong. You need to stop looking at all the things you can about what's wrong. The more you do this, the more wrong you will find ๐Ÿค“. But the opposite is also true. The more we look for what's right in life, the more we see of the things that are good, the more good we will find ๐Ÿ”ญ. This is how the mind works, it notices patterns and likes to stick to them and create habits.

For every bad thing happening in the world, and I know there are some bad things happening today, but there are also good things happening too. People going the extra mile to support others, people falling in love and children being born. People leaving their jobs and finding better ones. People running successful businesses ๐Ÿ˜ณ. All of these are happening too. Change your focus to see what is right in life, you change how you feel inside.

FOUR - Decide on your own meanings and make them great! ๐Ÿ‘€

When we see something happen, or something happens to you, how do you interpret it? Is it because your not good enough? Is it because you always seem to have bad luck? Is it because you're not intellectual enough or because you're not attractive enough? What is it for you? All of these meanings you give to things are the biggest lies you tell to yourself.

Yes, perhaps something did happen. We can't change the facts. But what if those things that happened or are happening now, actually made you who you are today. The caring, compassionate one with an inside strength that you never would have had without those experiences. ๐Ÿค”

Instead of listening to social media and the TV for your meanings, make your own meanings up, and make them positive to drive you forward. Nothing has any meaning except what thinking makes it so. The old bard was right. So think in a way that changes every thought into one that is working for you and not against you. You are the one in control of what things mean to you and nobody else! Use this to re-look at what your past has meant and what it could mean now. Grow from it and create a you that has confidence. A you that can do anything you want. Can achieve anything you want. Can love anyone you want. Starting with you.

Bonus 5th thing โ€ฆ Don't Pursue Happiness!

The strangest thing for a life coach who specialises in building happier and fulfilling, more meaningful lives to say is don't pursue happiness. I say this because it's not there, you will never find it. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ It's not on some remote island where you are trying to find yourself ๐Ÿ˜ฎ and it's not in a partner or your children ๐Ÿ˜ฎ. While these can give you incredible feelings of love and times of happiness, in order for your life to be different and authentically happy, you have to learn that it comes from your personal growth and progress ๐Ÿค”.

Anytime you feel you are getting closer to something, whenever you see that you took a step forward. When you feel like you are making a difference, this is when we feel at our happiest in life ๐Ÿ’ช. It doesn't come from anything external. It is what you let yourself feel when you feel progress.

If during your growth and progression, you get to meet others along the way, and you fall in love or you give to someone else beyond yourself, then your life will start to feel profoundly meaningful and fulfilled. While we don't all get to experience these times in life, the truth is that they are all there waiting for us โค. To take hold of them and to run. To feel alive. To be happy and fulfilled rather than trying to find them somewhere else.

Following these simple steps will enable you to change your trajectory. From one that is full of doubt and anger and sadness, to one that is profoundly meaningful and which fills you up with endless gratitude and love for life.

Wishing you all the best in your live, and I hope and look forward to a time when perhaps our lives will cross again ๐Ÿซถ.

Chris - Your Life Coach

PS. If you have doubts about yourself or your relationships and it's getting in the way of a happy and fulfilled life, you might be interested in my free book on beating self doubt here Self Doubt Book.


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